so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
