Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
