She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
this will be a night to untag.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
