remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize