I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
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You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
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jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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