is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
