I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
