its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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