Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
