you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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