my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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