suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
