All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
