Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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