Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
