I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
