I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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