I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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