so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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