home. puking in laundry basket.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
