Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
