Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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