Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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