lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
