fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
