dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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