First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize