Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize