Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
