i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
