why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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