It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
that is very illegal...i love you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
