Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
