I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
