Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
