ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just cropdusted the office
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
