they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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