Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
