You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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