That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
