MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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