note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
