Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
