I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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