Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
