if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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