Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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