and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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