woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
