ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".