Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
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I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
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You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up