at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana