i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
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We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
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I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.