I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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