Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
A+ Viking dick
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