i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
and she was petting her beer can
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
