We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
