I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
