If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have aggressive nipples.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
