I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
